There are a few versions of this floating around on the net:
I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer science, civil engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds.
Of course I have the reservations that you booked six years ago even though you don’t have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that begins with the letter “X”. It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each rom, four roll-aways and yes I can install a wetbar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter-landing pad.
I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday, you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes I can tell you why your bill for March 1989 contained a .25-cent phone charge because, obviously you never pay for phone calls.
I understand that the McGillicotty’s Widget Manufacturing Company is a vast empire that will make or break our hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I say that we have no rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. THIS time I will not forget the helicopter-landing pad. And it is my fault that everyone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in, even though you did not have a reservation.
I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen phone calls and plunging the toilet in room 101… all at the same time.
I am a front desk agent, operator, bellhop, houseman, guest service agent, housekeeper, sales coordinator, a map, entertainment critic, restaurateur, stock broker, computer technician, ice-breaker, postman, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, FAX-expert, human jukebox, and verbal punching bag, and I know why room 112 is not answering the phone.
I always know where to find the best vegetarian kosher, Mongolian barbeque restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires and the national economy. I realize that you meant to book your reservation here; people often confuse us with Galaxy Delight Motel of Antarctica. Of course, I can “fit you in” and yes you may have the special one-dollar rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.
I am expected to smile, emphasize, sympathize, console, cajole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, and fix the printer. And I know exactly where Possum Trot Lane is.
I am a Front Desk Agent. – (Author unknown)